I think I should've known that this year would be against me in everything.

G'bye for another five months, my loves. I look forward to getting to know you again. Have a good summer, and don't get too down on yourself.

To the rest of you - Nashville, go forth and pwn.

I find my place and it falls out from under me.

this semester was one of change. and it's supposed to make me stronger, but it hurts. so bad.

I fall in love, and it's unrequited. I make best friends, and they move away. I find a niche and it caves in around me.

And now all I have are memories and has-beens.

when are things going to fall in place for me? I want to be happy too, don't leave me behind...

edit--



Trying not to lose your own
Boxing up everything you've got
All you ever knew of home
You're scared scared to see
Your mother there in the door
You wonder where did the years go

All we know is distance
We're close and then we run
Kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one
But this is how the story ends
Or have we just begun?
To kiss away the difference
I know you hate this one

Patty, Alisha, Joseph, Greg, Ashlee - with your love, you have created the most beautiful semester I’ve ever had. I’m so upset that I’m losing you to the world this week. 

stay in touch, my loves. I will never forget you and the glorious friendship we've had.

the ONE night I want to get to bed early and the world decides it wants to be obnoxiously loud.

karma, man. mine sucks.

My very first home-teacher came by to visit today. He was my very best friend while I was a freshmen, when I was struggling my way through the theory core and trying to figure out my life for the first time. His name's Jon, and he's a stud. For really. At first the age difference scared me, but now that I think about it, nothing would've been the same if I had had ANYONE else as my HT. I don't think I realized how close we were until just now, but not the point.

I started thinking about all the things that have changed since he left. (He went to Korea to teach English and be awesome and stuff.) For one thing, I'm really glad I never moved. For another thing...

Well, I'm not really sure how much has actually changed.

I've gotten stronger, I've gotten weaker. My tendonitis reared its ugly head, I've learned to cope. No change on the boy front, lots of change on the major hunt, and still jobless. I've learned to trust God more, even though He's constantly battling with me to make me see better. I really learned how to pray under Jon's instruction, and I'm so grateful for his help in that area. I would be SO lost without that connection. I've learned to follow, I've learned to lead, I haven't learned self-discipline as much as I would've liked at this point, but there's still time. I started writing a book since he left. I've become steadily (but slowly) better with myself. I'm getting better. Slowly. I've made friends, I've lost friends, family has died or come close, and the cycle is always starting over. Music is still a large part of me for as much as I can't practice, and I'm finding love in the strangest of places.

Also, I got confirmation about a major decision in the short few moments he was here. That was especially appreciated. ♥ (And I still smell like him. That's not too bad either. :3)

I want to go higher, so that maybe the next time we run into each other I have something bigger to say. But I think the small things are good too, for as little as they are.

God is amazing, you know? He sends things when you don't know you need them. Introspection was necessary today, I s'pose. I felt like a freshman again, but I don't mind it. (I was a good little freshmen. I think.)

I need to stop being so ungrateful and appreciate things more in the moment. I don't want to be unhappy anymore. I just need to learn to work hard.

I'm on the road to Viridian City awesome-ness!


This could really be a good life,
So please tell me what there is to complain about.

I can tell he's not listening.

Cos when I say I'm up for anything, I mean it.

it really doesn't matter what we do. I am never going to hate anything you decide to do. the fact that you're bothering to do anything with me makes me happy enough.

please believe me when I say when I mean it, cos I don't often clarify that.

Ted Bannister: You're not on your own. Nobody is! Not unless they want to be.

But I said you and me
We don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
Traffic is perfectly still.