The closer I come to reporting to the MTC to embark on a miraculous time of my life, it occurs to me just how much I'll be leaving behind at this stage in the game.
I have so many friends and people that love me, and God works things throughout my day that I would miss if I weren't paying attention. I have gifts and talents that no one else has (and lots of times people forget about me having them, and that's okay) and I'll be putting them on the shelf for 18 months. Bassoon reeds will, once again, be a totally different language to me.
But regardless of that... please.
Just... please.
I don't want to be forgotten.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Elder Oaks was out here (in Chicago) for stake conference this weekend. It was awesome! This is the second time I've gotten to shake his hand, the first being after a concert at BYU (his grandson was in it). :D but anyway.
All of his comments were amazing, of course. It wasn't really a structured talk, he just expanded on points of the previous speakers. It was really really cool.
One of the things he mentioned was really interesting, though. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but he said the world would have us believe we don't have a choice (in matters of "being gay") - they want us to think we're born that way, that we're influenced by our environment only, that it's natural to give in to those sorts of feelings. He mentioned Mosiah and King Benjamin a lot in this part of his talk, and it brought to mind Mosiah 3:19. The natural man is an enemy to God. Further, this point that we "don't have a choice" to oppose those feelings totally undermines the whole sense that we were sent here to receive our agency. We're supposed to learn, we're supposed to try to make those decisions that will bring us back to Him. That was the whole plan from the start! Satan wanted to take away our choices, to force us to get back to heaven. But that wouldn't make us more like God, would it? No, no, we couldn't do that.
We fought the war in heaven for our choices.
And now you're trying to convince me that it's natural to take them away?
You can call me bigoted or ignorant until your face turns blue, just believe me when I say I've thought this through. I've spent many nights tossing in my sleep wondering how the heck I could explain this to anyone - never mind the terrifying prospect of explaining this to my future children.
I feel really torn sometimes, feeling like I'm the only person who isn't upset about the "lack of gay rights". I feel like if I expressed my opinion, all I would get in return is lots of hate and people calling me names because "how could I be so insensitive".
No.
This is my choice.
and if I weren't so scared of confrontation, I would make it known more. alas.
All of his comments were amazing, of course. It wasn't really a structured talk, he just expanded on points of the previous speakers. It was really really cool.
One of the things he mentioned was really interesting, though. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but he said the world would have us believe we don't have a choice (in matters of "being gay") - they want us to think we're born that way, that we're influenced by our environment only, that it's natural to give in to those sorts of feelings. He mentioned Mosiah and King Benjamin a lot in this part of his talk, and it brought to mind Mosiah 3:19. The natural man is an enemy to God. Further, this point that we "don't have a choice" to oppose those feelings totally undermines the whole sense that we were sent here to receive our agency. We're supposed to learn, we're supposed to try to make those decisions that will bring us back to Him. That was the whole plan from the start! Satan wanted to take away our choices, to force us to get back to heaven. But that wouldn't make us more like God, would it? No, no, we couldn't do that.
We fought the war in heaven for our choices.
And now you're trying to convince me that it's natural to take them away?
You can call me bigoted or ignorant until your face turns blue, just believe me when I say I've thought this through. I've spent many nights tossing in my sleep wondering how the heck I could explain this to anyone - never mind the terrifying prospect of explaining this to my future children.
I feel really torn sometimes, feeling like I'm the only person who isn't upset about the "lack of gay rights". I feel like if I expressed my opinion, all I would get in return is lots of hate and people calling me names because "how could I be so insensitive".
No.
This is my choice.
Friday, May 4, 2012
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