Little Wonders

...and things that make me happy:

1. Truth
2. Goodness
3. Beauty
4. Honesty
5. Effort
6. Sunshine
7. Books [especially when they just show up the mail via. my mum] (Hooray, Brisingr!)
   
8. Friends [and meeting them randomly on campus and chillin' on the grass]
   

to be continued. :]

I got bored. =]

Welcome to the BYU/winter layout. (I'm starting to make tabs of all the layouts I make so I can have one for the seasons. Maybe I ought to go back and make a fall one...?)

Hmm. Well, if you come back and the colors look more fall than winter, you know what's up. xD

I don't have a ton of time, so here's my life in a nutshell:

• Lots of classes (15.5 credit hours, woohoo! x.x)
• Lots of homework in said classes
• Staying up later than I should due to forces in nature (*cough...)
• Hooray, music!
  
• Oh yeah, band concert Wednesday. I need a black shirt...
• I need more units on my phone. T_T
• 200 hits on Sentimental Devotion on FP. :D
• Forces of nature (*cough) keep me from finishing Final Whisper ;)
• "Makeshift Destiny" is running enthusiastically and fantastically. Hooray, the life of a writer...
• ...
  

I think that's it for now... I'm too tired and distracted to think of much more. haha.
zZz

I AM SO TIRED OF BEING WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE.


Call me melodramatic, but I can't deal with this right now.


JUST. BE. HONEST. WITH. ME.



Is it seriously that HARD?

"You and me are drifting on a tidal wave"

I went up to Logan (2 hours away from Provo) last night for a concert by Imani Winds. They're a woodwind quintet that are quite brilliant at transcribing, composing, and playing music with so much love and passion. They're quite hysterical, too.

Me and this oboist kid from my band are still in shock over the crazy mad skills of the oboist. Yikes! I've never seen fingers fly like THAT before. 2 words: Intense.

Oh, but I'm way tired today. And I have a paper due at 5. And Wednesday is my other crazy day during the week. (Monday is my other one; much more crazy because it's Monday.)

If I've ever wished to take a nap so badly in my life, it's pretty much right now.


More to come?

Okay. There's this song called "Feel the Silence" by GooGoo Dolls. It's pretty much awesome. But there's this one bit that I want to bring to your attention.

All you remember now
Is what you feel

And I'm doing a lot of that right now. My hands are shaking because I'm thinking about what I feel now, and what I felt then.

In the same song, a couple more lines:

When it's gone what will you say

How do we hold on

So I'm telling you this:

I don't know if I want to take you back yet.

Give me time to cool off, because I'm pretty angry that you did this to me.

I need to decide if I need you back in my life right now.

Because I don't know.


ps - I know you don't hate me. I know it was far from it. I'm just hurt that you wouldn't live up to the words you told me before I left. You promised me. I'm just doubting sincerity.

Give me time.

Philanges

Well, something's out of whack with a nerve/tendon/something in my elbow that's causing my fingers to go numb.

Note that this is extremely bad because I am a musician and need my fingers for pretty much the rest of my life. Though, I'm pretty sure I would need them for the rest of my life anyway... but since I'm a musician, it's kinda essential. =P

I went to the doc yesterday, and they took x-rays, gave me medicine (basically a more powerful version of Tylenol) and sent me home. I "hitched" a ride with another BDA [Ben Dick Arms; the name of my complex] member and got home in 5 minutes as opposed to the 30 minutes of walking I might've had to do. Hurrah! But I called the doc about 2 hours ago to see the results on my x-ray. Happiness! It's not carpel tunnel! One less thing to worry about. *phew...*

Though, the doc put my wrist in a brace just in case it WAS carpel tunnel, but it seems to help with dealing the numbing more than the medication (so far, at least). Not sure why that is, but I'll take anything that helps.

Meanwhile, TO PRACTICE!

With love,
~Rayla

Somehow, I thought the signs were obvious.

Evidently not.

I was sitting, waiting, wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Cuz then maybe you'd see the signs.
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning loving somebody don't make them love you
I sang a song, I danced a dance
I gave your friends all a chance
Oh putting up with them wasn't worth never having you
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do

[excerpt from Jack Johnson's Sitting, Waiting, Watching]

Daily Stats:

{begin}

Classes = awesome.

People in classes = way cool.

Numb, lame hand = not awesome.

Waffle breakfast at his house Saturday morning = [will be] awesome

Symphonic band = awesome-ER.

Friends from back home disappearing from contact left & right = way NOT cool.

Getting close to 1 mil. on SH in FB = excellent.

David's occasional (and almost paranormal) advice = extremely satisfying.

Having my ceiling fan chain broken by the dudes who were fixing my closet = frustrating.

Successfully climbing Mt. Timpanogas = fantastic.

New ideas, characters, and enthusiasm for my new novel = SMASHING-LY GREAT!

Feelings about end of Death Note: NOT COOL AT ALL.

Total hits on Sentimental Devotion [143] = amazing.

Anticipation over waiting for a friend to call/contact = heartbreaking [but working on fixing, with or without help. real soon.]

/end

So there's something wrong with my hand.

You know that feeling when, perhaps, your foot falls asleep; then when it's waking up, it's all numb and tingling?

It's kinda like that, except less severe. Only when I do stuff with my fingers (which, I am just figuring out, is almost everything) do I realize that it's kinda numb. It's kinda odd, persistent, and annoying. But you know.

Oh, and I have a shooting pain in my foot when I walk. That was just today, but we'll see how that turns out tomorrow...

Oh, and I can't go see the doctor until at least Friday.

Can you say, "screwed?"

Call me dramatic, but...

Since you obviously don't want to put effort into this, you-who-must-not-be-named, I won't put any effort into this either.


It'll be better for my heart, anyway. Actually...

It'll be better for my life.

Convince me wrong.



I dare you.

Okay. If you don't want to take 80 minutes out of your day to listen to bits and pieces of my heart, just tell me. 

I don't like being in the dark.

And if there's anything more to this that you're not telling me, just be honest.

Please. It'll make it easier for the rest of us.

You know who you are.