My very first home-teacher came by to visit today. He was my very best friend while I was a freshmen, when I was struggling my way through the theory core and trying to figure out my life for the first time. His name's Jon, and he's a stud. For really. At first the age difference scared me, but now that I think about it, nothing would've been the same if I had had ANYONE else as my HT. I don't think I realized how close we were until just now, but not the point.

I started thinking about all the things that have changed since he left. (He went to Korea to teach English and be awesome and stuff.) For one thing, I'm really glad I never moved. For another thing...

Well, I'm not really sure how much has actually changed.

I've gotten stronger, I've gotten weaker. My tendonitis reared its ugly head, I've learned to cope. No change on the boy front, lots of change on the major hunt, and still jobless. I've learned to trust God more, even though He's constantly battling with me to make me see better. I really learned how to pray under Jon's instruction, and I'm so grateful for his help in that area. I would be SO lost without that connection. I've learned to follow, I've learned to lead, I haven't learned self-discipline as much as I would've liked at this point, but there's still time. I started writing a book since he left. I've become steadily (but slowly) better with myself. I'm getting better. Slowly. I've made friends, I've lost friends, family has died or come close, and the cycle is always starting over. Music is still a large part of me for as much as I can't practice, and I'm finding love in the strangest of places.

Also, I got confirmation about a major decision in the short few moments he was here. That was especially appreciated. ♥ (And I still smell like him. That's not too bad either. :3)

I want to go higher, so that maybe the next time we run into each other I have something bigger to say. But I think the small things are good too, for as little as they are.

God is amazing, you know? He sends things when you don't know you need them. Introspection was necessary today, I s'pose. I felt like a freshman again, but I don't mind it. (I was a good little freshmen. I think.)

I need to stop being so ungrateful and appreciate things more in the moment. I don't want to be unhappy anymore. I just need to learn to work hard.

I'm on the road to Viridian City awesome-ness!


This could really be a good life,
So please tell me what there is to complain about.