random fact about me

when I'm living in a place where I don't have to take my own role of responsibility (i.e., have parents around to schedule and take care of everything for you), I have the most terrible self-control you'll ever see. this often leads to a decline in any semblance of a social life, more irritability, and lack of sleep, the latter of which results in emotional breakdowns to a friend's voicemail. I also become more possessive of my room and having every noun stay out of it becomes a top priority, although the quiet time around this house - as opposed to the apartment I came from - is a stark improvement.

I feel uneasy. Lots of unease in my life and I have no idea where it's coming from.

Well, let's recount.

• My mom's currently here helping me pack up EVERYTHING so I can get all my stuff home before my mission. If there's anybody who could be here to make me feel nervous about the future, it's her. Love her to death but aah! I can't compare my awesomeness to her, nevermind.
• I'M GOING ON A MISSION. Never thought I'd say that in my life. 
• Continuing on the previous note, I'll be going through the temple soon. For my non-Mormon readers, it's a big deal. Basically. And over the last few weeks I've heard so many horror stories about the adversary trying to mess with people going to the temple to become endowed. And y'know? It scares me. He'll be gunning right for me and I'd rather fly under the radar like I've done my whole life. And this next chapter of my life is going to have a lot of attention to lil' ol' me.
• I finished my recital, but the ending seemed anti-climactic, man. Now I think the stress is falling out since I tried to suppress it for so long.
• I'll be back home for about a month and then head back to Provo to go to the MTC on May 30th. Um... that's not very long. From right now, I mean. Ack.
• Also... it's playoff time for hockey. Game 1 in the series for the Hawks was today and it always stresses me out. XD *brick'd*

Yep. 

And I need to finish editing and drafting and etc. so the little story demons won't follow me when I go into the MTC. That just wouldn't be ideal... My poor characters. They're such a part of me, they'll hate me for going. But here I go.

*inhale*
*exhale*
...and repeat.

(eek, new post layout? I don't know what I'm doing anymore D: )

in other news, it's a good thing I'm not getting up early tomorrow or this chatter outside my door would be really irritating.

owait.

ooh, blogger changed it's layout.

I do not like it one bit. I liked my classy, easy-to-navigate dashboard!

bah. people changing things that don't need to be changed. now everything's... wacky and hard to find.

I LIKE MY BLOCKY BUTTONS T_T

Now that I've announced my mission call, people are treating me differently.

Almost like I'm untouchable or something.

I was hoping it wouldn't be that noticeable.

What do you do when you feel like your visiting teacher is more of a friend to your roommate than to you?

I want to say something, since I feel like she's coming over for her, not for me... but I don't want to complicate that friendship either, even though I feel like I'm being ignored.

And that doesn't make me want to reciprocate any half-baked attempts at friendship.

"And you wonder why there's so many problems with homosexuality right now, your women are being men and the men don't know what to be anymore."

hadn't thought about it before, but I think it sounds about right.

Ein Heldenleben

Don't know it? You should. It's by Richard Strauss, one of the coolest composers I've never heard of before. I saw the Philharmonic play this tonight, and HOLY FRIGGIN COW.

It is probably one of the most beautiful things I've heard in a really long time. No. THE most beautiful thing.

Waaaagh!

Permit me to swoon over here in the corner while I simultaneously get over my shock of seeing President Uctdorf there.