Thursday, August 25, 2011

AGH.

that is all.

why would you make that the entry audition for ensembles heaven knows I suck enough at this instrument
high D why do you hate me

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Well, enough of all my guyfriends coming back from their missions, what I really want is all my ladies to stop LEAVING on them!!

Blimey. I'll be friendless before the year's out, at this rate. XD

Sunday, August 14, 2011

today, I was told I'm a good listener.

while this doesn't surprise me (I've heard that before), I'm surprised that I heard it today, since I feel like I've been rather touchy about letting people tell me their problems. this is probably because lately, I've been hearing the same issues over and over again from the same few people.

it's rather bland and irritating, y'see.

BUT, me being me with my somewhat passive nature, I can't really say anything to tell them I don't want to hear it again. how the heck do I do that without hurting feelings? not possible, so I don't try.

and so it continues.

then I think, "maybe if I distance myself they'll leave me alone and tell their problems to somebody else who cares." (I'm not very good at the whole sympathy thing. plus, my logical part of me wants to fix it and if you're just venting at me, I flail on the inside and just freak out and get upset. no good.) so I shut myself away to work on my novel or whatever and they just follow me. like, honestly, if I'm in my room and the door is closed you'd think there'd be a huge DO NOT DISTURB sign on it, wouldn't you? or at least knock and ask "are you busy?" (to which I'd say yes and you'd leave. right?)

I like blog posts. if you start venting and people don't wanna read it they can just leave. bit more awkward if you do that in normal conversation.

I was also told recently that I'm very considerate of other people. according to them, I keep an eye out for who's having a hard time, do things because they're in my ability to do so, follow up on things we've talked about, all that. question is, though, is it selfish of me to get upset when that same consideration isn't returned? when I do your dishes and you don't say thanks, and then you leave more in the sink (which you KNOW drives me crazy)?? when I let you borrow stuff and don't pay back? when I load/unload the dishwasher every time, scrub the kitchen spotless even when I don't need to? when you don't even ask me how my day is? (I've since stopped asking you, if you've noticed.) this turned out longer than I was anticipating sigh

do your own thing and stay out of my way. that's how I'd prefer it. if I want to hear your stories 10 times over the course of the week, I'll ask. otherwise, keep it to yourself since I'm probably going to hear it later.

I really don't appreciate feeling like a doormat.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I want to be a copy editor.

Monday, August 8, 2011

I saw a hummingbird today :D was flitting around a tree, circled around it twice and flew off. nifty!

lovely sunday. hope yours was great, too :)

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I just gotta say, my life is pretty darn spectacular.

Morning was all mine, which was delightful in and of itself. It was nice to be able to charge up and get ready for the social demands, which I think I filled pretty well haha. Went to dinner with the lovely Ashlee and Kim, and of course Andrea. Valerie was gonna come, but work went later than she thought it was gonna so she just dropped by later.

After a short food coma, the party didn't really get going 'til about a half hour later than it was supposed to, and went just as long as I thought it might. After everybody getting their initial servings of ice cream, we did our whipped cream toss! It was epic :D I'll do pictures later (I'm so bad at uploading when I say I will D: ). There weren't a lot of folks who actually wanted to toss, which was fine cos that means more whipped cream for us. Huzzah! After we cleaned off we played Werewolf for a while, and after that everybody seemed to peter out and leave. So the rest of us played pinochle, glory be. ^__^ And then I had a fantastical chat with lovely Emily!

Lovely, lovely, lovely. Oh yesh.

I really have this huge appreciation for my God this week. I've been reading in Alma where the sons of Mosiah are recounting their "glory days", so to speak. This morning I read the part where Ammon is like, "Why shouldn't I exclaim about how awesome my God is for saving me and allowing me to spread his word??" and whatnot. Even though I'm not spreading his word, I'm more in the same in a "Why shouldn't I proclaim about how awesome and wonderful and loving my Father is?" Cos he really is.

It's almost 1:30am so I better shuffle off, but I can expound on that tomorrow. So much love and stuff! mrawr. ♥

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dear Caitlin,

I still want to know what happened, about how you died. Now I know you were at home during spring break, but...

Was it just "one of those things", or did you make yourself go?

:/

I miss you today, Lassie.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

lightning like a SHOTGUN! yes! midwest storm come to provo! <3

last night I prayed for an awesome day and God made it storm. win? I think so.

I'm still getting rain on my windowsill tho. XD