"Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me"

// All I see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "[Is] something wrong?"
That I think "You're damn right there is
But we can't talk about it now.
No, we can't talk about it now." \\

fat, short, and stupid

Aah, so much to say, so little time!

So I supposed I'll have to simplify.

1. Back from Hawaii! And it was awesome. =)
2. School starts tomorrow and I'm still on Hawaii time. =\ Yuck.
3. School starts tomorrow and I get to see all my friends! Woo!
4. I got my schedule fixed! But it sucks. lol.
5. My friends are such AMAZING people and I love them all SO MUCH! (think of the incident at David's house, you know who you are!)
6. I amaze myself as far as my talents go. I mean, I knew I was good, but I never realize my potential until it touches someone else (in a good way, of course).
7. Three of my favourite things (all of which are "healthy" for you) are laughing, smiling, and hugs. And I'm super happy that I've been getting a lot of these lately. =)

Random side note: I long for change, and I'm trying to make it happen. Wish me luck. =P

Anyways, all that's happening in the life of "the Teensie Queen." lol.

last post for a while....

Yup. Leaving on vacation tomorrow (woo Hawaii?) and I won't be back until the 27th. Which stinks. 2 days before school starts (not to mention none before seminary!! yukk) and I have to get used to a time change! It stinks. Not to mention how much I'll be missing for marching band (yes I'm aware I'm a bad person because of this, you don't need to tell me). >.<

yup. I'll bet you're all going to commentvnow saying, "You're a bad person!". ha.

Yup. Marching band's in a couple hours and I haven't even started packing yet. Hmm. I think I might want to get on that.... =\

But yeah. Lyrics to occupy your time! =P

The Moment I Said It Lyrics

The moment I said it
The moment I opened my mouth
Lead in your eyelids
Bulldozed the life out of me
I know what you're thinking
But darling you're not thinking straight
Sadly things just happen we can't... explain

It's not even light out,
But you've somewhere to be - no hesitation
No I've never seen you like this
And I dont like it, I dont like it, I dont like it at all

Just put back the car keys
Or somebody's going to get hurt
Who are you calling at this hour
It down, come round , I need you now
We'll work it all out together
We're getting no where tonight
Now sleep, I promise, it'll all seem better somehow
In time

It's not even light out
Suddenly, you've somewhere to be
No hesitation
mmm... I've never seen you like this
You're scaring me, You're scaring me,
You're scaring me to death

Don't.. oh, smash... please
Don't... oh... and another one
Don't... oh... and another one

I'm losing you... I'm losing you

Trust me on this one
I've got a bad feeling
Trust me on this one
You're going to throw it all away
With no hesitation

Smash...

Doctrine & Covenants 46: 11- 26

11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.
13 To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.
14 To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.
15 And again, to some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know the differences of administration, as it will be pleasing unto the same Lord, according as the Lord will, suiting his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men.
16 And again, it is given by the Holy Ghost to some to know the diversities of operations, whether they be of God, that the manifestations of the Spirit may be given to every man to profit withal.
17 And again, verily I say unto you, to some is given, by the Spirit of God, the word of wisdom.
18 To another is given the word of knowledge, that all may be taught to be wise and to have knowledge.
19 And again, to some it is given to have faith to be healed;
20 And to others it is given to have faith to heal.
21 And again, to some is given the working of miracles;
22 And to others it is given to prophesy;
23 And to others the discerning of spirits.
24 And again, it is given to some to speak with tongues;
25 And to another is given the interpretation of tongues.
26 And all these gifts come from God, for the benefit of the children of God.

I was flipping through my scriptures the other day, and I saw this passage highlighted. It was from a seminary lesson about all the gifts of God that he gives to his children. My seminary teacher said each of the gifts made her think of one of us in the class, and she proceeded to read through the list again with each of our names attached to one of them. She attached my name to "the discerning of spirits."

First, a definition: discerning = showing good or outstanding judgment and understanding; having keen insight and good judgment. Therefore, the "discerning of spirits" means that I can tell a good spirit from a bad one; a "in-the-long-run" good friend to a not-so-good one.

As I've been pondering this lately, I've discovered how true this is. I haven't had that many terrible friendship problems, and in the rare case that I do, I can see if the friendship is worth saving or not. (As horrible as that sounds.) I'm usually very good at recognizing a good person or not, which is probably why all of the close friends that I have are extremely good people. Sure, I have my moments, and everyone else has theirs. But in the end, it all comes back as a good thing.

So if this isn't a statement, I don't know what is:

You are an elite group, because we are friends.

doot doo doo...

I am currently lost in thought.

Well, I've lost my mind too, but that's besides the point.

Perhaps I ought to be productive. And clean my room. Again.

Or I could just say that I have two band-aids on the insides of BOTH my elbows and leave it at that. (I went to the doctors, and one of my veins moved and wouldn't give blood, so they had to go to the other arm.)

But then that means I've just given you the entire story!

So I guess I will say this:

Love sucks.

and it definitely hurts more than what these band-aids are holding together.

a tale of my adventure at the hospital

hopefully to never be repeated. =P not fun.

SO! yesterday morning I wake up to find that my period has started (yes, bluntness). same old stuff, thought that the pain was just from the cramps and whatnot. ya? wrong. I took some ibuprofen to see if the pain would go away, but it didn't, so I ended up squirming on the floor in my room, trying to find some relief. finally my mother came home from picking my brother up at band, and I tell her I feel sick, so we go see if I can sleep in her bed (nice comfy water bed). we get a bucket because I feel nauseous, AND! I throw up about 4-5 times before we go to the doctor. doc goes and does her thing, thinks I have appendicitis (sp? wth?), and send me to the E.R. great. first experience with the hospital since I was 4. >.< anyways, I go, they do a bunch of tests, I keep throwing up (just bile by now, since my stomach is completely empty). when they're about to send me home (because the throwing up had slowed down), I throw up AGAIN! leading to the decision that I spend the night at the hospital.

definitely did NOT want that to happen. so I throw a fit to my parents, I cry, and I eventually go to sleep about 12:30. mrawr. wake up again every two or so hours, wake up at 4, and watch a movie (it's really hard to sleep at the hospital. unfamiliar ceilings, wot). I proceed to eat breakfast (and keep it in my stomach this time!!!), and sleep some more. my mom came to hang out with me until they let me go, which was right after lunch.

and now I'm home. good stuff.

was it an interesting experience? yes, yes it was. would I want to do it again? no, definitely not.

birthday post!

Yes, today is my birthday. As of 5:27 pm today, I *will be* 17. But it's just a number. If I was to get an age in how mature/smart I was, I would say I am much older in that aspect. lol.

yeah, this is my lame birthday post, if you want to wish me a personal birthday wish or soemthing, you could probably find me on isketch. or leave a comment. whichever works. =]

(I'd like it better to see you on isketch, though. I don't want to find out I'm the only person addicted to it. lol.) =]

See ya 'round, folks! And happy July 29th to you all.

='(

I'm feeling rejected and alone for no reason. Probably due to my mood swings (leading to something else [crap, on my birthday?!]).

Yeah. Ever since I had a certain conversation, this question has been lagging at me. Constantly. question being this:

"Ever wonder if your friends just put up with you?"

Now, especially when I'm emo, this question means a lot to me. It makes me feel insecure. Which I know I will be feeling a lot this year, with graduation next spring. But I always wonder... do I actually mean something to them? Do they actually care? Would they really take a bullet for me like they say the would? Do they really love me, like they say they do? Do they appriciate me, or do they just see me as an ignorant person craving for attention? An imperfect brat who happens to be a control freak?

College makes me feel lost. Insignificant. Out of control. Depressed. Wishing I was young again.

I woke up this morning, and I said to myself in the mirror: Oh. Dear. When did I grow up?

When did I become older?

What just happened to me?