='(

I'm feeling rejected and alone for no reason. Probably due to my mood swings (leading to something else [crap, on my birthday?!]).

Yeah. Ever since I had a certain conversation, this question has been lagging at me. Constantly. question being this:

"Ever wonder if your friends just put up with you?"

Now, especially when I'm emo, this question means a lot to me. It makes me feel insecure. Which I know I will be feeling a lot this year, with graduation next spring. But I always wonder... do I actually mean something to them? Do they actually care? Would they really take a bullet for me like they say the would? Do they really love me, like they say they do? Do they appriciate me, or do they just see me as an ignorant person craving for attention? An imperfect brat who happens to be a control freak?

College makes me feel lost. Insignificant. Out of control. Depressed. Wishing I was young again.

I woke up this morning, and I said to myself in the mirror: Oh. Dear. When did I grow up?

When did I become older?

What just happened to me?