fwah, so whats today? the 22nd? ok. -counts- so that's 11 days until IMEA. WWOOOOOOOTT.... :D yeehaw. IMEA is going to be at OEHS this year, too! yes! that means I won't have to drive all the way to who-knwos-where if I make it. woot! I hope I make it. that'd be fun. I love music. You get to meet so many cool people pertaining to music. me gusta. the more bassoonists I know, the better. hehehehe.

Right, well I'm at school again. I have to practically live at the school again today, since I'm staying after school for my play (woot!) and there's a social for all the little eighth graders that want to be in marching band next year. WHOO! GO MB! hehehe. so I will have an hour today of just sitting around the school. maybe I can ask someone if they want to go to Panera for dinner. hmm.

So spencer is sitting next to me and he's talking about "googling a wenis" and I'm like oO um..no. kinda creepy.

So I'm done rambling on, I'm proabably going to end up hacking onto xanga and copying this onto my site. Or maybe I'll go to LJ. I like LJ. Jake doesn't. he rambled on about during this class yesterday.

Oh dear. they're both making me laugh too hard, I can barely type. I love friendly banter.

g2g! LEAVE ME A COMMMENT, POOR FLAVOR

~Rayla

ps- me and Joel is offical :)

I swear.

Literally.

Many times.

And all for naught.

lets see....

2 days until DYSO
17 days until IMEA auditions

oh, isn't life exciting? ooh yeah, of course it is.

So U of I was bad this year. Quite disappointing. It was so much easier my freshman year, and life was more simple when I went last year, so I was less depressed. Eh. Maybe next year will be a better finish. (IT BETTER BE, IT'S THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER GET TO GO...) -ahem- well, if you go to my xanga (link is listed on the right), you can hear a part of a song that we're playing in Wind Symphony!! ^^ When we played through it, I was like "I've heard this before... WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFORE?!?!" so I was going crazy to figure it out, and I eventually did about 20 minutes later. oO oh well. life is messing up my mind.

Play rehersal's are going well, I've pretty much memorized the first two french scenes, so life is good. for now. Everyone's fussing about the dance and stuff, so whenever we get on the inveitable topic of "the opposite sex", it emerges. I, however, will not be coming to the dance, since I will be spending the night watching PHANTOM OF THE OPERA with Kit and Zack, who hasn't seen it before. Hence, why we're doing it then. No one else can crash and none of us are going to the dance. woot, go us.

Anyways, I'm exhasted from the trip, so I'm going to go sleep. And, inveitablely, wake up at 6 tomorrow morning. Cuz that's just the way I work. :-P

~Rachael

Thank you Carl, for being the only one who is proud of me.

Just kidding.

I know you all have a place for me somewhere. I just know that many of my friends overlook me sometimes, and then I wonder how important I am to them. I constantly wonder, "What if I disappeared? What would they say? How long would it take for them to notice?" and then I slip away into the darknes; alone, afraid, tired, and in a constant state of wonder if I am truely important to someone. I tell myself I must be, I tell myself I am. But without someone one there to tell me, I fall away into silence...

And it's moods like this that make me remember all the things I have done with my life, friends, and enemies all at once.

I remember when...

• I moved to district 308 in 2001
• I met Kylie and Holly (who, at that time, were pretty good friends)
• I switched to bassoon between sixth and seventh grade
• Bednarcik was built and I went there for seventh grade
• I tried to get to know someone through someone else, and ended up meeting one of the greatest people in the world
• I met Kit in seventh grade LA
• I went to IMEA in eighth grade
• I watched my friendship with Kylie and Holly dwindle away to nothing
• I watched everything I knew being turned inside out
• I watched a few friends make their way to the top of their social scale, and leave me behind
• I thought that everything would be ok, and it eventually was, but I had to make it by myself
• We went to the rose parade, and while that was a marvolous event, I never could shake that hole in me
• Starting high school, and how empty the hallways used to be.
• My conflict with Matt
• My "in's and out's" with my social life
• My love that I soulc never have

And then I remember how things used to be easy. I remember when all I had to do was wait and everything would be over in a day. I remember how I knew it would be better, and that I would never leave my friends again, and now all of the sudden, college is staring me in the face. And all of the sudden...

I want to be too naive again. I want to forget. I want to not care about anything and everything.

But then I remember...

It's too late to go back now. I can't forget.

And I want this hole to be filled in me once and for all.

and I know that hardly anyone reads this, so I'm safe to explain to myself how I feel.

HAHA!

Just an update for those that didn't know:

I MADE THE PLAY! I GOT THE PART! HEHEHE, THE ONLY FEMALE PART!

^^ I'm done with gloating. :P jk. MY FIRST PLAY! I'm so excited. November 3rd, wot! Only performance that I know of at the moment. We're trying to get another time to perform, but supposedly it's super-hard to schedule the theatre. I wouldn't know, I'm just in it when I need to be. lol.

WELL, all is going well at the moment. Seminary is AWESOME (that's usually rare, but lately I've been feeling the spirit! that is so awesome, I've never felt the spirit at seminary before.), school is great, life is going good too, and I'm in the happiest mood I've been in in years. Yup, that's what I said, years. I don't consider myself to be depressed, or even enthusuatically crazy, but this play has made me so happy so far. I'M SO THRILLED!

I hope you all come to see me, even though I'll be muttering on about how you shouldn't cuz I get stage fright. Tft. I'll get over it? I hope so. Anyway, I'l be off now, I have a few other things I need to be doing. Like what, I don't know. But I'll go do it. :P

~Rachael

6 AND 8 DAYS! (Man, will that be an exciting weekend or what!)

Well, Zack is going to have me try out for that "Time Flies" play. The meeting's on tuesday! and I don't think I'l be able to get on soon. I gotsta go, wish me lucks! I want to make it so much! Plays are so fun! Plus, I'll be able to show people that just because I'm not in the other ones I can do good in plays. Stupid... person I'm thinking about... some of you know who it is hehe lol

~Rachael

I wish I could be recognized for doing what I do best instead of pretending to do what I can't.

Well, first off, school is ok so far.

Second off, Victor Borge is an AWESOME MAN....even though he is dead.

And third, I HAD A DREAM! Unlike Martin Luther King who still has one. nevermind. Bad pun, I realize, you don't have to tell me. I will *attempt* to keep names and such *confidential* as to not bias your feedback on it. Which, upon reading this, you must comment.

Ok. Let's get this party started. So in my dream, friend 1 and I are somewhere, on a bed or a couch or something. I wasn't paying attention. But anyway, we're talking and such and then he pulls me close and he kisses me. (yeah, I know. little scary.) Then he says "And that's all I want to say," and I finish his sentence by saying "I love you is that ok" (You know, like that one song). So then he adds "this'll be our little secret..." so then I turn around and I'm at school. and I'm talking to friend 3. I look down the hall and friend 2 is running at me and yelling, "Rachael, how could you?! HOW COULD YOU!?" So then I try and cover my head, you know, when you're trying to get away from something or ignore it, and when I look up again, friend 1 & 2 are yelling at each other, yadda yadda... I then I wake up.

Hopefully none of you realized who which friend was, since none of their real personality is in here anyway. SO! Tell me EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT OF UPON READING THIS! I MUST KNOW! It's been bothering me for a long time, and I've just decided to tell people about it with as little details about people as possible. Y'know? PLEASE tell me! I would like to know, thank you. :)

Falala. That's my exciting life so far. Future updates on my calender that I feel like mentioning:

Sept. 16: U of I BAND DAY! yay. my favourite MB day of the year. Next to the last football game when everything is perfect. :)

Sept. 17: (May I mention this is a SUNDAY...) David's b-day party! It was supposed to be on the 2nd, but he postponed it so more people could come.

Nothing else comes to mind. If I think of anymore, I'll let you know. :P

~Rayla♥~