Tonight was a very strange kind of sadness. I think mostly because I thought I was fine. Could be fluctuations in hormones, but who am I to be rational about those sorts of things? (If you're a man reading that, don't worry. We don't get it either.)

It was like a constant state of waiting to bawl my eyes out. The itching behind my eyes was even there for a lot of it, and it all just made me want to throw my laptop against my headboard and just be done with it. But I'm far too attached to this lovely hunk of junk, let's be honest...

Although, I just realized this could be aftershock of the splitting headache that woke me up at 5am yesterday morning and made me feel somewhat sick for the rest of today.

In either case, today was peculiar. That's a good word.

The other thing that might've set me off was I told Melissa and Robyn about the night Patrick skipped town. Reliving that was... strange. (I missed Andrea a lot at this point too, mrr.) Out of anybody that's left so far I miss him by far the most, which is odd to me. Well, not really. He's the closest that I've ever known to come even a parsec close to my father's personality and humor. And value for entertainment - my dad always finds the joys in the most simplest pleasures in life (slinkies and all manners of cool gadgets and gizmos) and Patty was basically the same as all that. I still really wish I would've realized it sooner. But it wouldn't have mattered; there's another girl and I'm not keen to get in the way of anybody's romance. XD

I bought plane tickets home, by the way. Can't wait to see everybody again before Craig goes off and turns nineteen and serves somewhere crazy. (I still think he'll stay stateside, though. One of his lungs collapsed a year and a half ago and the doctor who saw him around won't want him gallivanting off to Asia or something.)

And speaking of MISSIONARIES, holy crap freshman friends coming home now o.o! Most excited to see Scotty, I tried to write him religiously but we both tuckered out by the last five months, XD. Melly said all of her friends waited 'til they got back to Provo, so we'll see how things go. I keep getting mega excited when I see his picture pop up in my news feed. Blimey... I sound like such a priss. Derp. Just ignore the fangirl behind the curtain, nothing to see here, move along.


Anyway... it's nearing 4:30 and I've really got to be getting on a less-than-obscure sleeping schedule *brick'd*.

Hope things are going well for all y'all. I'm fine, really, in case you got any other kind of impression. I just shouldn't trust myself to stay up past 2am anymore. Ha-ha.

But yeah. Spare a thought for me in your prayers, if you can. I could use a pick-me-up. Let me know if I can do anything for you, I could more use to get my mind off of things :P