So I've been listening to Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" on repeat for the last hour. It brings me a certain peace, somehow. It's ironic, I think.

In all seriousness, it's 2010.

2010.

It's so bizarre. We've reached a new decade, and each year seems to fly by faster and faster. I never wanted to grow up, and I think to a point, I never will.

I'm more in love with life every day that I live it, and I am constantly striving to learn new things and try to do things that the Lord would want me to do. Specifically, I'm trying to show my love for the people I love so much more than I already do. Sometimes I assume that people just know these things, that I love them as much as I do. But sometimes words are not enough. I don't really know how to show all my love for my wonderful, patient, cheerful, loving friends - but I know I can try and that I can better.

I've always been protective - and always a little bit jealous - of my friends. Tonight, for example, when I was driving home with some people I knew in a blizzard (I'm not kidding - this was worse than any snowstorm Illinois could conjure up), I called my 2 roommates to make sure they were safe. At the end of both phone calls, I told them I loved them.

Now, I don't know if they really know how much I love them, but that doesn't matter. We all got home in one piece (err, three?) and we were too tired to do much else but go to sleep. (Except me, hence why I'm updating this at 2am MST.)

But back to the jealousy. Thinking about it now, all the other times I ever got jealous about someone or something else was because they could show their love that much better than I could. I wanted to be able to express my deep felt love to someone, tell them that I prayed for their protection every night, tell them that I would honestly sacrifice anything I had to make them happy. I've never been able to say that phrase, "Whatever makes you happy makes me happy." Or however that goes. I never knew why until I realized that jealousy was hindering my progress. It took a long time to see that, but now I'm empowered because I know.

They said knowledge is power, and it really is.



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Anyways. I'm rambling and not making much sense. Time for bed, I s'ppose.