As the end of summer comes to a close and the start of the final year of high school draws ever closer, I think about the future. I take a break and I look into the past. I see this on a friends blog:
"I care so much for all of my friends. I would take a bullet for any of them."
I, too, would take a bullet for any of my friends. Any of them.
All of them.
With thoughts of college on our doorstep, and plans of leaving home into the "real world" on the horizon, it's hard to imagine what life will be life without everyone. What life will be like after all my friends disappear into the sands of time. What I'll do without them.
Well, I know what I'll do. I just don't want to admit it.
I'll move on. I'll eventually make new friends. Old friends will begin to disappear as emails slow down from their rapid pace; things like facebook, myspace and blogger won't matter anymore; thoughts of "high school should have never ended" will leave us. Old friends feel like we have nothing connecting them anymore, and then they'll eventually sever contact. I'll be left with a handful of the closest friends, randomly emailing in the middle of work or at the library when looking up a book, every two months or so. The span will range from two months to six, depending on who gets married and has kids first. Then I'll get invited to weddings or graduations or such several states away, of which I won't be able to make because airfare and gas prices will have skyrocketed and I won't be able to afford such a trip. Eventually I'll meet my husband (or get engaged, if I've already met them >.>), and plan for the wedding. I'll send out invites, a couple great friends will show, but when we talk at the reception (because only Mormons are allowed in the temple), we'll realize that everything we cherished has fallen to the wayside. We'll be sad for a while, sure, but then we'll realize what better people we are because of change. Then after a couple good years of marriage, kids will come along, and I'll become so enticed with them that I won't have time for emails and such anymore. Then I'll be alone with my kids and neighbors.
Aren't I just awful?
I'm so depressing. Espcially when I've thought about college almost all day.
