I just don't. It's so surprising, I did it and then I realized that I had done it. It was like God had picked me up and moved me because He knew what was going on. He knew, and I knew that I couldn't take any more of it. Even if it was "only" about drugs.
oh, sorry. permit me to explain. in creative writing, my teacher was questioning some of the stuff people had put in a travelling story. [Now, near everyone in my class has got the sickest minds you have ever seen, and after a taste of some of the things they've written, I knew it was going to be bad.] I was terrified, and I didn't want to listen to it because I feared the worst. so I covered my ears as she was "revising" some of the more "interesting" parts, and after someone volunteered to read it, I went up to the teacher and told her I was going to stand in the hallway for a bit because I didn't want to have to chance the story being appropriate or not. so I go and stand out in the hallway and I cry. I don't know why I cried, but I did. Thankfully, not many people were in the hallway, and those who were weren't paying attention to me. (a lecture from the teacher in the hallway about something in journalism, I don't know.) so I stood there, trying not to fall over and weep my head off, then 2 minutes later CJ comes by and I'm still trying not to sob. He says "you ok?" and I say no, and he gives me a hug. more or less, I didn't care who it was from. I just knew that I was supposed to walk out of that room, and I did.
But now I'm sitting here, dazed and amazed that I actually got up to leave in the first place. Usually, I'm too scared to do anything, but I made a stand. I'm so thankful that I listened this time.
I listened.
and I know that He is with me. All the time. Everywhere. I am a daughter; He loves me, and I love him. I will stand as a witness in all time and in all things and in all places...
keeping my head up,
~Rayla
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