so today there was a knock at my door. I answered it, and it was a man I didn't recognize. usually, I'll let them ramble along and then I'll politely decline. this guy, though, about halfway through his speech I got a really sickly cold feeling in my stomach and I just like there was something very off about this particular individual. luckily nothing bad happened and he went on his way after trying to get me to buy his book.

what really gets me is that I'm pretty sure I felt the spirit telling me to watch out. just a little nudge, but it made me want to slam the door in his face and lock it. scary.

I'm getting a sign asap.

"What's wrong with him? He didn't talk to me today! I tried to say hi to him and he just wouldn't talk to me."

I just heard this and I have to admit I'm horrified. What's wrong with him? Just because you went on a date means nothing! It bothered me enough when you went around saying, "He finally got the idea to ask me on a date".

Maybe it's because I haven't been smitten by a man in several years and I "just don't understand". But to go around and to refer to the boy as some kind of oblivious animal? nuh uh. it really rubs me the wrong way.

I get the whole "yay he asked me on a date!", but to put it like "he finally realized I'm pining after him and asked me on a date!" does not seem... ideal? nice? something like that, words fail me.

it sounds like your talking about this boy as if his universe is supposed to revolve around you. whether you're meaning to or not, I am not okay with this. and that you keep saying you'd be "okay as friends"? yeah, I'm not seeing it.

blah.

I don't even know.

I just renamed my external hard-drive the "TARDIS".

I am so cool such a nerd.

:D

A Chance To Come Clean

Dear friend,

Remember that one time when you came over and you asked me what I was doing with my summer, and you had a major facepalm moment when I told you I was filling my time with watching TV? Well, lucky for everybody involved it was a lie. Unfortunately for you, I just didn't wanna tell you what I was really up to with the 8 hours of my day that didn't involve going crazy with my roommates et al.

I'm writing a book, y'see. But I decided not to tell you cos you already "lost respect" for me wanting to be an English major (which I guess went back up when I told you being an editor was my plan :P). Why would I tell you that? I mean... even after I told you TV (which has ONLY consisted of my catching up of Dr Who, by the way...) you gave me this lecture on how to find a job and whatnot on campus. Totally unneeded, but I appreciate the sentiment. I can only imagine what you would've done for my book, had I told you.

Ease up on the judgement bar, there. I think you're amazing with all your whistles and bells, but I know you well enough by now. Just trying to protect myself. :)

And maybe someday I'll tell you, maybe someday I won't. But this is where that stands, and I hope you won't always think of me as a lazy slob, even though I get away with it too often than I like to admit :D

♥

Despite the red rectangle emblazoned into my forearm because of a piece of metal that was regulating my skin temperature, $30 to read a book for three hours was not a bad trade :D

BYU and their case studies = winrar for me.

Now hopefully the swelling will be down by tomorrow morning....

It all seems like a dream, now...

...but last year (as in fall/winter semester) was lovely. I miss it.

Listening to people tell the same story over and over and over again about a certain inside joke makes me feel like a third wheel.

Also threatened and also like I don't matter at all.

Blargh.

I miss the spotlight a little bit.

my father's heart and my mother's body.

cue fish oil every meal for the rest of my life.